It’s been a sh** summer here in Newcastle …… Primarily because the long drawn out close season hasn’t been buoyed by a World Cup or European Championship but also because the months of June & July mean The Toon becomes infested by Stag & Hen Parties…
The frightful sight of pink limousines filled with mephs kitted out in bunny ears & devil horns is enough to pi** off even the most tolerant of Geordies.. Not forgetting the irritation of battling your way to the bar past a load of knobs from Derby with ‘Brian’s Black Country Legends t-shirts on’. Newcastle’s metamorphous from ‘city of industry’ to ‘European Party Capital’ is not with out its downside. So a word to the wise to any readers thinking of arranging a ‘lads’ weekend to the Toon. Go to Dublin instead & fu** the Irish off.
For a region that produced players of the calibre of Jackie Milburn, The Charlton Brothers, Paul Gascoigne, Chris Waddle, Peter Beardsley & Alan Shearer & managers such as Bob Paisley, Brian Clough & Sir Bobby Robson, in terms of trophies the region has had little or nothing to shout about.
Barring that spawny mackem victory in the FA Cup in the seventies & the Smog monsters victory in the League Cup in 2004 no North Eastern Team has tasted success in a major competition for the past fifty years, leading to the Toon Army having to endure mocking chants from lesser teams fans who fail to understand (being fair-weather bas****s) their undying loyalty to the cause.
Is this all about to change??? The honest answer is unlikely. However there is cause for renewed optimism for fans of both Newcastle & Sunderland, the former having made sweeping changes at boardroom, managerial & playing level. Big Sam’s signing’s have undoubtedly improved the quality of the squad but whether Newcastle can cope in terms of quantity remains to be seem.
Those unlucky blighters on wearyside can also look forward to the new season. The incredible achievements of Quinn & Keane in resurrecting the worst team in the premier league twice to their current status cannot be underplayed. Whether the lack of experience at the highest level from board right through to playing level will count against them remains to be seen.
Down at Teesside there is less cause for hope… Mainly because there is little hope when Stockton is your home address but also because the cavalier days of big players & big transfer fees seem to be over. The loss of Viduka (ha ha ha) & possible loss of Yakubu mean Yorkshire might lose its last Premier League club!!!!
In the lower leagues the monkey hangers can look forward to trips to the City Ground & Elland Road & can the Quakers finally achieve promotion & give that wonderful stadium a team worthy of it.
What we lack in Champions League football & realistic League success we will make up with passion & drama.
So stay to join me Toon Dog, Fat mackem bast*** & Darlo Dave as we keep you abreast of all the action from another tumultuous season in the North East.
An introduction to a Yorkshire blog started by Tim Hill.
Intriguing times for Yorkshire football. And when I say intriguing, I mean grim. No club in the top-flight again, two clubs (Rotherham and Leeds) within a whisker of going bust this summer, and Sheffield United so desperate to get back into the Premier League they’re willing to spend ?4m on James Beattie.
But like an especially sickening car crash, this season should be fascinating, in a perverse sort of way. As usual, Leeds should command most of the attention, especially as everyone around the country seems to be pissing themselves at their current strife. Languishing isn’t the word: starting life in the third tier with a 15-point deduction, with barely 11 fit players to choose from, and with the unfortunate reality of having Dennis Wise as manager - Leeds fans have plenty to worry about.
Sheffield United should prosper, in spite of, rather than because of, the appointment of Bryan Robson as manager (honestly, Kevin McCabe, what were you thinking?). Robson reckons Beattie and Billy Sharp are the premier strike partnership in the Championship, which is a bit like being described as the best-looking couple at a Young Farmers disco, but between them they ought to score plenty of goals. Wednesday, who offered Patrick Kluivert a trial over the summer and seemed shocked when he laughed in their face, had a decent finish to last season, but they’re not quite good enough yet. If only John Harkes were still playing.
Scunthorpe fans are in the midst of an especially soppy love affair with manager Nigel Adkins (”Who needs Mourinho/When we’ve got our physio?”, as the not-very-witty terrace chant goes) after he masterminded their promotion to the second tier, but if we’re being honest, they’re classic relegation fodder, because they’re fairly terrible. Ditto Hull. Ditto Barnsley, with knobs on. Heady times, though, at Bradford. Able to buy players for the first time since 2001, and with local hero Stuart McCall back in the hotseat (look up ?Stuart+McCall+drunk? on YouTube and tell me British football’s still stuck in the Dark Ages), there’s even a hint of optimism at Valley Parade. And then to the dross, of which Yorkshire has plenty. Huddersfield and Doncaster might aspire to mid-table mediocrity in League One, Rotherham might not even aspire to that in League Two, and Grimsby remain, well, Grimsby. Roll on the new season.
Welcome to the first edition of ‘Northern Soul’ dedicated to bringing you veracious tales; trends; trials and tribulations, of a truly incomparable footballing region.
Join me this season as I attempt to uncover all the goings on in and around Manchester, Cheshire and Stoke-on-Trent. No doubt there’ll be scrapping down the Vale, a resurgence round at City, up the junction at the Alex, Silkmen survival stories and Gigs up the Lane. Not forgetting all the drama as it unfolds at Old Trafford - ‘The Theatre Of Dreams’. Ever watched a United game in Chorlton-cum-Hardy’s Royal Oak? It’s a must for all real Man Utd fans! Last but not least there’s ‘the pride of the potteries’ and the cornerstone of Northern Soul.
Ours is a region steeped in rich tradition. Local delicacies: North Staffs oatcakes and Eccles cakes, Barms and Pikelets, oh and Betty’s Lancashire hotpot. Then there’s our fantastic music heritage, oh and there’s Robbie Williams also. Through sprawling Manchester suburbs to urban sprawls of Crewe and Stoke, folk are brought up on a strict diet of nogger and music, and haven’t we been spoiled?
‘Joshua Brooks’ still pound out sounds of the Sixties and Seventies and of course Northern Soul’s timeless classics. Relished in Manchester in the early Seventies, spreading quickly across the Northwest, Jackie Wilson and his fellow more ‘relaxed’ R & B compatriots, (predominantly US) were played all night long in dingy underground nightclubs like ‘The Twisted Wheel’. These sweaty, yet intrinsically cool Soul clubs put this region on the cultural map.
What people seem to forget is, these underground sounds were first aired by DJ’s in ‘The Torch’ on Hose st. Tunstall: Stoke-on-Trent’s most northern of it’s ‘Six Towns’. Its a shame the mancs take all the credit.
Then came Madchester and the baggy phenomenon. In the 80’s and 90’s Manchester was the place to be, responsible for producing most of the country’s best music. Ian Brown, former lead singer from Manchester’s most promising band of that era: The Stone Roses, once blamed the sudden influx of bands on Manchester’s infamous rainy climate, suggesting there’s nothing else to do but practice on your instruments! He went on to advocate that the only thing missing in Manchester was a beach. Nobody get any ideas, from experience the beach isn’t much craic in the rain, so stay in doors and keep practicing. “Oh Manchester, so much to be answer for!”
Music movements come and go. People grow up and places inevitably change. Decline of industry has led to widespread depression. Derelict bottlekilns are all that remain in Tunstall and Wedgwood has long since packed up and moved on. The days of The Hacienda are now just a blotted memory. Sadly in its place stands another lifeless apartment block desperately lacking in atmosphere. Outside sit flowers for the recently deceased Tony Wilson: former owner of ‘Factory Records’ and most responsible for creating such legendary nights at the venue, never to be forgotton by those who were there. Youth culture is disappearing fast and our one last hope is our indomitable football tradition.
Never has there been a more exciting time in English football and clubs from our region are heavily involved. Older statesman Ferguson and Erikkson will battle it out for Manchester supremacy, though realistically the latter will be out to salvage some much needed local pride. United’s dominance is relentless but with Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal hot their heals, this season’s Premier League promises to be the best for some years; with the highlight usually being United’s bitter battle with local scouse rivals Liverpool.
There’s reason for optimism for all our regions clubs as now - more so than ever - football is making us proud again. So come hither fellas and loves, ducks and darlin’s and stand tall once more, unite and keep the Northern Soul burning bright.
An intro to a Northwest blog started by Jon Greenbank.
Blackpool Tower… Cilla Black… Kendal Mint Cake… George Formby… Jennifer Ellison… Meat & Potato Pies… Cockle Pickers… Les Dawson… Black Pudding… Eric Morecambe… Preston Guild… Potted Shrimps… The Sand Castle… Scouse… Willy Russell… Eddie Spotters… Hollyoaks… Stu Sutcliffe… Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls
If you’re not already familiar with this area of the country, read Stuart Maconie’s excellent ‘In Search of the North’ and you’ll understand what these mean.
I have the privilege of covering the West Coast Main line, for those of you familiar with Virgin trains and their quiet zones and hotline magazine (also a good read) which takes in Merseyside (the focus of my considered opinions / bitter drivel – you can decide by reading my preview here) as well as Lancashire and hopefully (if my flat mate’s reading) Carlisle. We’ve got the Capital of Culture, Four Thousand Holes, England’s newest city, the Golden Mile, the seaside town that they forgot to shut down, and the gateway to the Lakes plus lots more besides.
I am lucky that it’s a veritable hotbed of football, has been ever since the League’s formation (go the National Football Museum at Deepdale) and decided to name my section after the Hitchcock classic because a)it’s a weird place and b) this season could be a thriller for many teams…
Along the way I’ll just try to tell it like it is. Thanks to my dad my love of football started with PNE, I grew up on a diet of Elton Welsby and Shoot magazine, played for Lancaster City Youth, before arriving in Liverpool a wide eyed student with a season ticket in the Gwladys Street. The affection remains, even in these days of foreign investment and new stadia. I will attempt to get to the bottom of the particularly intriguing football culture that this region offers, whilst staying aware of the national and international trends and stories (we are in the UEFA Cup after all!)
And what a season to start writing… with so many questions to answer on the way. Will Liverpool win the league? Might Morecambe stay afloat? Could Blackpool continue their (golden miles of) progress? Can Chris Hutchings stay in a job? Will Blackburn to win any friends? Should Carlisle follow Gretna? Can Chester keep a manager? Are Tranmere to glow under the Friday night lights? Should Preston be proud? And most importantly, is this the year Everton actually win something?
Come with me as the Master of Suspense weaves one of his greatest tales…
The Midlands is a region steeped in history; yet one still struggling to redefine itself after the carnage left by a decline in industry; & a region recuperating from a footballing depression.
Fans of Wolves, Forest & Villa are still scratching their heads in disbelief, wondering what in God’s name has become of their beloved clubs in recent years. Midland clubs; once at the forefront of English football, have shamelessly slipped down the pecking order, league tables & divisions, with European competition seeming further away from middle England than global warming.
Forest fans could be forgiven for feeling uninspired by a September fixture list that reads ‘Bristol Rovers (Away)… Port Vale (Away) …Yeovil (Away)’. No offence to these teams - but they’re not exactly Liverpool… Zurich Grasshoppers… or Kevin Keegan’s Hamberg!
It wasn’t all that long ago that England’s Midland teams were top of the pile. When Villa scaled the dizzy heights of Europe (European Cup Winners in 1982, above), Cloughie (The Messiah) inspired Forest to win the same trophy & against all odds - successfully retained it (1979 & 1980), & a prestigious Wolves dominated English football in the fifties. It wasn’t all that long ago either, when in 1966, an England team triumphed at a World Cup and sat proudly at the summit of world football - some hundred years after she’d invented the beautiful game!
It must not be forgotten that Nottingham was the birthplace of competitive football. It all began with the formation of Notts County in 1864 with the City also providing the battleground for the inaugural local derby.
Judging by the state of these two footballing institutions, you’d never have guessed their importance to world soccer; & memories are fading fast.
Fortunes of both have spectacularly flat-lined in recent times, with England’s national team in dire straights, Forest languishing aimlessly in League One, Wolves desperately flattered by their ‘Yo Yo club’ status, & only Villa staging a mini revival under Martin ‘The Prophet’ O’Neil.
It was a radio phone-in from a couple of years ago, on a Birmingham radio station, that cited the regions gradual decline in industry, as the contributing factor in the dramatic downfall of this regions football. This came after Wolves; Birmingham & West Brom had all recently been relegated from the premiership. Villa remained stagnant, whilst Derby, Leicester & Forest all suffered further indignation and sank deeper into debt. The argument falters slightly when you consider Liverpool’s success of the 70’s & 80’s, amid widespread recession & mass unemployment.
It maybe also worth considering, that since these former giants in world football started to waver, so too did England’s once soaring achievements in industry.
Mills & Machinery have long since closed down; Scabs, Sheriff’s & Skinners (both Mike & Frank) have all checked out and left town, and Glam Rock has hopefully disappeared for good. The Midlands are rapidly changing & subsequently facing some sort of identity crisis. Unsure whether to follow the distinguished roots & infectious pride of the north; or if indeed they should stick to the influential more patriotic slurs of the south, Midlanders are destined to fluctuate between the two, unless they rediscover what made them and this country great in the first place. That was being themselves & being proud of it. Shakespeare, Lawrence & Tolkien embraced their idiosyncrasies & used them to their advantage. Its time the people of The Midlands did the same. How uncanny & coincidental that Steve McLaren faces a similar predicament with the national team.
Birmingham, England’s second city, & surrounding cities provide a cultural hot bed of innovation & insight that needs to be celebrated. In many ways it’s self- deprecating & a contradiction of itself. As diverse as it is secular, as proud as it is apologetic, the region has somehow lost its balls & cultural self-importance. There’s enough to shout about & a heritage even Brummies can’t ignore.
It’s bleedin’ time people became proud about where they come from, even if that happens to be Sutton Coalfield! When asked if they’re up to anything decent this evening, people of the Black Country surely have something more constructive to say than: “Yam going doggin”(famed by Cannock born Stan Collymore). How about: “We’re gonna slaughter Chelsea” “We’re playing in Europe again” or even “Britannia rules the waves” & I mean that purely in a footballing sense.
Yes, industry has died out in this region just like it has throughout England, but the world moves on & there’s no point dwelling on it. The Midlands has to adapt, progress & kick on, being proud of a distinguished past. The cities of this region are redefining themselves fast & it’s time its people did the same.
The need for a quality football team however, remains more blatant than a Joe Cole step-over or more appropriately, a Jasper Carrott punchline. Now is the time for people to start backing their clubs & their country; but more importantly, it’s time for the people of ‘The Midlands’ to show they have an identity, & also, this nation to show us it has a heart.
So the season is finally here and a typically dramatic opening weekend saw a number of eye-opening results involving the capitals teams. As usual more questions were raised and probably more problems exposed than solved.
In the top flight both the hammers and spurs fans had to endure painful 90 minutes, which must have shattered nebulous pre-season hopes, and triggered perhaps fatalistic realisation that another season of dashed dreams is around the corner. The spurs fans sense of despondency is probably reaching new lows as I write, having just been humbled at home to Everton. Less than a week in to the season their match at the lane against Wigan on Saturday has already assumed importance of epic proportions with their perhaps premature ambitions of breaching the seemingly impregnable top four in danger of becoming somewhat of a joke.
Searching for positives amongst the early season wreckage the encouragingly dominant and composed performance of Kaboul at Sunderland, the imminent return of King and Gale, and the fact that spurs can’t possibly continue in this vein with such a talented squad point to a brighter future once Jol figures out how to get the best out of his quartet of strikers. Their recovery from an unbelievably dismal start last year also points to the probability of brighter times ahead with the primary question seemingly if they will be able to recover in time to achieve their lofty goals?
Over in east London the problems exposed by Sven’s rampant ragbag of you-tube wonders seem much more serious in the long term. After the Tevez inspired euphoria of the latest greatest escape brought crashing back down to earth with new season only eight mins old as Elano strolled past Upson to set up Bianchi. The dire form of Lee Bowyer and Louis Boa Morte, the sickening injury to Faubert and the fact that Ljunberg is well past his best point to a not particularly imposing midfield. On the plus side once he settles parker should be an asset despite an propensity for overly conservative passing and Ashton and Bellamy could form a dangerous partnership if the former can stay fit and the latter can avoid going golfing, or to karaoke bars for that matter, with his new team mates. Despite these crumbs of comfort I can’t help feeling the man who ridiculously made his fortune from biscuits will quickly get tired of the limited curbs and it will be another season of turmoil at Upton park.
In the other corners of town fans have more cause for cautious optimism. Chelsea despite spending considerably less than their main rivals for the first time since that hateful oligarch gangster Ambramovich arrived have significantly strengthened. The signings of Ben Haim and Alex should mean the absence of John terry shouldn’t be as catastrophic as last season (although Sundays shaky defence against Brum was encouraging for others), Pizarro and Sidwell both look like shrewd additions and Malouda looks like he could be the sort of signing Liverpool fans and Rafa Benitez will rue letting slip through the net for years to come. On top of this the imminent signing of arguably the best player in Spain last year, Daniel Alves, is a frightening prospect. Personally, I am just hoping that the transition to the rough and tumble of the premiership and the fact that the Chelsea team will not be set up to accommodate his unorthodox roving right back role will mean that he does not set English football alight like he has the Spanish.
After a strange summer in which they sold their talisman and one of the best footballers in the world and made a net gain in transfers there seems to be real spirit and belief about arsenal. The fact that Wenger has been so serene about the departure of Henry and placed so much faith in his precocious young team and new signing Eduardo seems to have had a galvanising effect. While I have deep suspicion of stats and the opta culture after listening to Benitez attempts to claim Liverpool were the most entertaining team by virtue of their having the most shots, Wenger insists that last season arsenal created more chances and had faster and more accurate passing than the year they went unbeaten and far be it for me to question his judgment. Thus, if Van Persie and Fabregas can adopt the mantle of Henry and Eduardo can prove slightly more foxish in the box than Franny Jeffers then Arsenal really could surprise a few people and I feel predictions of their post-Henry decline are very premature. However, despite the undeniable potential I can’t help feeling their Achilles heel of a midfield that however talented will too often be bullied out of matches will prevent them winning the championship. A repeat of 2006 and an assault on the champions league seems more likely to me.
Over in west London the northern Irish colony at Fulham have made an encouraging start with a battling victory against Bolton following a battling and unlucky defeat at Ashburton. While craven cottage will probably not be the destination of choice for the football purists the signs are encouraging that the fans won’t have to endure another season of truly dismal away form and the worrying scepter of relegation hanging over them till the end of the season. Al Fayed seems to for some reason have become interested again and I think Sanchez has spent his money quite wisely; at 2 million Healey’s international scoring record including that hatrick against Spain and a double against Sweden mean he was always worth a gamble and two goals in two games isn’t a bad start; Chris Baird, while it is hard for me to believe having played against him regularly as a 16 year old, has become a dependable defender who was Southampton’s player of the year last season and was wanted by a number of clubs; Steven Davis, who played for the same junior team as Baird, was being linked with a move to united prior to falling out of favour with O’Neill last season and is undoubtedly a hugely talented player; Lee Cook, QPR’s player of the year, represents another gamble having never played at this level, but with a wand of a left foot he could prove a bargain; and finally Diomansy Kamara was widely regarded as the best attacking player in the championship and will offer Fulham the pace that is so vital at this level.
Outside the top flight, Palace and Watford couldn’t have hoped for better starts than the impressive away wins at St Mary’s and the Molineux starts. Palace will surely mount a more sustained challenge after last seasons debacle while if Aidy Bothroyd’s comically preposterous 60 million price tag manages to scare off DERBY County and they can retain Marlon King Watford should be a safe bet for play off and an outside for an automatic return. Over at Charlton if Pardew can recreate his success at reading and west ham in this division and new signings Varney and McLeod can make the step up they should also be safe bets for play-offs. They also seem to have unearthed a crowd favourite in new right back Moutaouakil. Finally, over at Loftus the loss of their best player and the ever-present shadow of administration make me think it could be another hard slog for QPR despite Saturday’s spirited 2-2 opener at Ashton Gate.
As for league two… Well who really gives a fuck??? Sorry, sorry, sorry but I know even less about league two than I do the championship and it’s getting late so I‘m not going to patronise you with my sketchy predictions and daily star style summaries any longer. Anyone who actually does know what their talking about, especially about issues relating specifically to the club you follow write in and enlighten the rest of us.
It’s been a sh** summer here in Newcastle …… Primarily because the long drawn out close season hasn’t been buoyed by a World Cup or European Championship but also because the months of June & July mean The Toon becomes infested by Stag & Hen Parties…
Intriguing times for Yorkshire football. And when I say intriguing, I mean grim. No club in the top-flight again, two clubs (Rotherham and Leeds) within a whisker of going bust this summer, and Sheffield United so desperate to get back into the Premier League they’re willing to spend ?4m on James Beattie.
Sheffield United should prosper, in spite of, rather than because of, the appointment of Bryan Robson as manager (honestly, Kevin McCabe, what were you thinking?). Robson reckons Beattie and Billy Sharp are the premier strike partnership in the Championship, which is a bit like being described as the best-looking couple at a Young Farmers disco, but between them they ought to score plenty of goals. Wednesday, who offered Patrick Kluivert a trial over the summer and seemed shocked when he laughed in their face, had a decent finish to last season, but they’re not quite good enough yet. If only John Harkes were still playing.
Yes, industry has died out in this region just like it has throughout England, but the world moves on & there’s no point dwelling on it. The Midlands has to adapt, progress & kick on, being proud of a distinguished past. The cities of this region are redefining themselves fast & it’s time its people did the same.
Searching for positives amongst the early season wreckage the encouragingly dominant and composed performance of Kaboul at Sunderland, the imminent return of King and Gale, and the fact that spurs can’t possibly continue in this vein with such a talented squad point to a brighter future once Jol figures out how to get the best out of his quartet of strikers. Their recovery from an unbelievably dismal start last year also points to the probability of brighter times ahead with the primary question seemingly if they will be able to recover in time to achieve their lofty goals?
In the other corners of town fans have more cause for cautious optimism. Chelsea despite spending considerably less than their main rivals for the first time since that hateful oligarch gangster Ambramovich arrived have significantly strengthened. The signings of Ben Haim and Alex should mean the absence of John terry shouldn’t be as catastrophic as last season (although Sundays shaky defence against Brum was encouraging for others), Pizarro and Sidwell both look like shrewd additions and Malouda looks like he could be the sort of signing Liverpool fans and Rafa Benitez will rue letting slip through the net for years to come. On top of this the imminent signing of arguably the best player in Spain last year, Daniel Alves, is a frightening prospect. Personally, I am just hoping that the transition to the rough and tumble of the premiership and the fact that the Chelsea team will not be set up to accommodate his unorthodox roving right back role will mean that he does not set English football alight like he has the Spanish.
Over in west London the northern Irish colony at Fulham have made an encouraging start with a battling victory against Bolton following a battling and unlucky defeat at Ashburton. While craven cottage will probably not be the destination of choice for the football purists the signs are encouraging that the fans won’t have to endure another season of truly dismal away form and the worrying scepter of relegation hanging over them till the end of the season. Al Fayed seems to for some reason have become interested again and I think Sanchez has spent his money quite wisely; at 2 million Healey’s international scoring record including that hatrick against Spain and a double against Sweden mean he was always worth a gamble and two goals in two games isn’t a bad start; Chris Baird, while it is hard for me to believe having played against him regularly as a 16 year old, has become a dependable defender who was Southampton’s player of the year last season and was wanted by a number of clubs; Steven Davis, who played for the same junior team as Baird, was being linked with a move to united prior to falling out of favour with O’Neill last season and is undoubtedly a hugely talented player; Lee Cook, QPR’s player of the year, represents another gamble having never played at this level, but with a wand of a left foot he could prove a bargain; and finally Diomansy Kamara was widely regarded as the best attacking player in the championship and will offer Fulham the pace that is so vital at this level.
