The season is in its early stages, yet already there seems to be a familiar pattern emerging. But with Manchester Utd off to a slow start, neighbours Manchester City rivalling Chelsea in the annoyingly ‘we’re richer than you’ claims, and Euro-beaters Arsenal slipping to a shock 2-1 home defeat to an audacious and plucky Hull City, it’s not one we’d envisaged.

Plucky Hull City defeat the might of Arsenal

These early season surprises provide further evidence of the increasingly fragile nature of football, reinforcing the belief that nothing can be taken for granted.

Presumably in time, these trends will inevitably alter (how long before foreign investors get bored playing around with English football clubs given the current economic climate?); nevertheless, some things in English football look less likely to change. 

But whilst the Anfield-curse threatens to thwart the career of yet another striker harnessing the burden of a lofty price-tag, it is another unsuspecting goal-threat who is grabbing all the headlines. And he’s grasping them with both hands. Yes it is highly predictable, possibly even Neanderthal - as some have suggested - but Rory Delap’s huge throw-ins are reaping havoc in the Premier League, proving unstoppable for some of the world’s top defences. It hardly seems real?

More bizarrely, the term ‘a Delap’ may even become immortalised in football folklore as many derisively call for its inclusion into the English dictionary. And they say football has become predictable.

On a more serious note, I am slightly perturbed by Stoke’s limited variation of play this season, lack of attacking guile, and our over-cautious style of football. And if we don’t address this hastily, then I’m afraid our admirable team spirit will not suffice and our stay in this prosperous division will be a sojourn one.

Rory Delap could be writing himself into Stoke City folklore

My main consternation, is soon teams will figure out a way to nullify the danger ‘a Delap’ poses (which weaker defences managed to do much earlier in the Championship), meaning Stoke City will run out of ideas, struggle despondently, and Rory Delap, God love him, will be out of a job. ‘A Delap’ therefore, may tragically become a euphemism for an entirely different act, usually done fortnightly down your local job-centre. It is a disturbing notion.

Furthermore, do we really want to get relegated known as a team who came to defend, who were never brave enough to really go for it, relying solely on long throws and set-pieces?  

Not only do I find it rather absurd to assimilate that such tactics can be adopted, in a game which has become so fast and technical, but it just seems so primitive, not to mention, extremely ugly to watch. That it has worked beautifully (!?!) up to now, the fact Greece won the Euros using similar methods, probably means most of you think I’m being extremely negative about the whole thing, yet my cynicism, I assure you, is constructive. And unless people – including Tony Pulis – step out from their comfort zones, we’ll get nowhere (please make me eat my words). 

It’s just so frustrating to watch, as I’m certain we are capable of producing some good football and this negative stifling approach is robbing us of our best opportunity of securing sustained top flight football for quarter of a century.

We don’t have to resort to route-one football, or rely heavily on suffocation tactics, and I do feel we have it in us to be more positive and progressive. We not only display a lack of confidence but we are showing a lack of ambition also. Granted, we haven’t spent the money Hull City have on certain types of players, but a more adventurous style akin to that of the Tigers is what’s needed, as we simply aren’t utilising the attacking players we have at this club.

Not only has record new signing Dave Kitson struggled - starved of any sort of service - but so too has Ricardo Fuller (our chief goal-getter last term) as he just hasn’t been provided with the kind of through-balls we know a man with his skill and pace thrives on. Ball-playing midfielder Glenn Whelan (in the form of his life for Giovanni Trappattoni’s Republic of Ireland) has rarely figured this season and provides yet another stark reminder of our manager’s over-vigilant mentality.

Glenn Whelan has become a firm favourite of Giovanni Trappatoni for Ireland

Having watched the classy Whelan in all his games for the Republic, I am shocked he isn’t a mainstay in this Stoke City team. He has a very bright future in the game and it’s players like him we should be building our team around.

As Pulis prefers to play safe, opting for physical prowess and crunching tacklers; men closer to resembling heavy-weight boxers than Premier League footballers, who attempt to strangle the life from opponents, I cannot help but feel aggrieved somewhat, and soon when all this is over, we will look back on our return to the big time with acrimony and regret. If we are to go down, we have to go down fighting.
 
There used to be a time when Stoke City widened their pitch to accommodate such greats as Sir Stan & Jimmy Greenhoff; Terry Conroy & Mark Chamberlain; and (the legend that was) Peter Hoekstra, enhancing the effectiveness of our magical wingers, which, like the oatcake, were once a staple diet for the people of the Potteries. Now the manager – judiciously it appears - has narrowed its width to maximise the carnage that ‘a Delap’ missile causes. How times have changed!

Sir Stanley Matthews 'Wing Wizard'

A recent pilgrimage to my homeland (or ‘binge’ as it’s also known) not only eliminated all lingering doubt which had surfaced about my year old (exactly to this day) emigration to Ireland, but by becoming the unsuspecting victim of a daunting scally-attack in the gloomy streets of Manchester (somehow managing to escape unscathed!), I learnt something so utterly profound and life-defining that not even a self-help book could have protruded. And somehow, it can be associated with the situation at Stoke City.

In a blink of an eye (or more aptly, the flick of a knife) my life could so easily have ended, which is not only terribly disconcerting (and raises wider issues about the increasing problem of street violence in the UK), but was also responsible for granting me some much needed perspective on a life that was beginning to pass me by.

Thereupon, I felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility to myself to make the most of my time I have left and to quench every last moment (heck, I may even start this Friday by going along to watch Galway United Vs Cork City despite my reluctance in the past). You see, I want to make the most out of my new surroundings, instead of pining to be in the Britannia, I want to appreciate everything my new environment has to offer me. I’m even lucky enough to get to see Stoke City on the Television this season and I desperately long for this to continue.

Terryland, home of Galway United where I'll be spending Friday night

I’ve begun to realise that life is short and precarious, precious and vital, and in a footballing sense, so is the Premier League. Stoke City may only get one crack at it and I would hate to see their opportunity slip by without them giving it absolutely everything.

By being negative we are cutting off our noses, by lacking adventure we are stifling our chances of survival. Maybe it’s idealism, I’m not so sure, but I want to see us play some football this season. However, if Rory Delap’s supernatural throw keeps us in this marvellous division, thus winning that place in the Oxford dictionary, then who am I to argue. Roll on Sunday.