A year is certainly a long time in football. 12 months ago Sunderland sank to ever-greater depths than what they achieved in the 2005-06 season when they beat their own dismal record to become the worst team in Premiership history for the second time.  New owner & saviour Niall Quinn had promised ‘World Class’ players & a Big Name Manager. Little did those cheeky little mackems suspect that by ‘big’ Quinny meant all 6 foot 7 of himself. Oh that vision of him striding down the touchline with a big gawping grin like the BFG on E on those opening games of the 2006-07 season is one that brings much joy to my heart. 

However like most good things it sadly came to end in spectacular fashion with the 2-0 capitulation against lowly Bury in the League Cup.  Quinny himself learnt a valuable lesson all modern chairman need to heed & that is to under promise & over achieve.  By raising expectations to unrealistic levels even the appointment of Roy Keane as manager was only greeted with muted enthusiasm by those on wearyside.   My own personal view was one of bewilderment. The thought of gentleman Quinn & maniac Keane working together after falling out so spectacularly at the 2002 World Cup & Keane succeeding his nemesis McCarthy at Sunderland led me to reason it could go one of two ways.. It would either be an astounding success or be a calamitous failure.  Unfortunately as history shows, it was the former!!!

After walking out on his country at the World Cup for criticising the training facilities laid on by the FAI & being unceremoniously booted of Old Trafford after questioning the calibre of some of United’s squad one can only imagine what Keane thought when he first laid eyes on Liam Lawrence & Co. One crumb of comfort in those early days must have been the reassuring thought that there was no ‘prawn sandwich eaters’ in the fulwell end.’  There’s only so far that giro will go..

Keane opted to stick close to home in his initial forays into the transfer market.  Ex Celtic & Utd players such as Liam Miller & Dwight Yorke brought much needed quality & experience to the side. By the close of the transfer window he had also added Graham Kavanagh, Ross Wallace Stanislav Vagra & David Connolly.

The initial post Quinn results were promising. Abandoning the long ball tactics of his predecessors Keane opted for quick passing football ball deploying two pacy wide men who created plenty of chances for the still admittedly lacklustre strikers.  The defence too had newfound confidence and at times played with a swaggering confidence.  The Midfield almost predictably given the managers background was strong & ferocious in the tackle.

Keane himself seemed to take to management like a mackem to the dole queue… His press conferences were articulate & insightful & his team played with direction & dare I say it flair.  However what particularly tickled me was the physical transformation he underwent, whether this was to convince the world he was now a professional manager or just a gross fashion error only he knows. However those tighter than tight suits & his grey speckled beard made him look more like an Islamic fundamentalist leader than a top footie coach..  

Boy aren’t those mackems friendly

Sunderland already firmly established in the ‘axis of evil’ along with the smog monsters & the ‘dirty mancs’ launched their own jihad on the Championship in 2007. Losing only twice to bogy side Preston (in the FA Cup)  & Colchester they won the Championship at a canter.  This achievement made all the more remarkable considering the woeful start they had, not to mention the previous seasons debacle.  Any question marks over Keane’s ability as a manager had been laid to rest as he displayed acute tactical awareness & proved he was a dab hand in the transfer market.   Personally I was impressed by his temperament.  As a player Keane’s aggression & forceful nature had served him well pushing his team forward to greater glories but as a manager he learned quickly not to be as critical with his players & fostered a remarkable team spirit. 

Almost predictably the fans came crawling back, only nine months after so visibly abandoning their team they stood shamelessly in their Scope jackets & Reebok classics fantasying about future footballing glories.

The media also got carried away with the hype.   Feeling the need to categorize a resurgent Sunderland they drew comparisons with the Sir John Hall & Kevin Keegan era ten years earlier. 

Renewed optimism on wearyside contrasted sharply with a downturn in fortunes on Tyneside.  While the Toon Army had stood loyally with their team in terms of numbers, patience was wearing thin with a regime lacking in ambition & direction.  The free spending days of the past appeared to be over & the football employed by manager Roeder was an embodiment of the man himself… Dull & boring.  The mackems began to predict a shift in power.

Old Big Bird Quinny, not heeding the lessons of pre-season began making bold statements of intent regarding Sunderland’s return to the top flight. Boasting that he would sign top class Premiership players he sent pulses racing on wearyside.  Whether this was a cheap marketing ploy or just boastful naivety it had the desired effect as the Stadium of Light actually witnessed people queuing to buy season tickets.  The last time people queued at Sunderland in regards to season tickets was to throw them at Reidy & Big Mick..

Bob Murray must have been amazed at the scenes.  For years his regime had inflicted child abuse on thousands of innocent children stretching as far as Chester-le-Street by offering free tickets to local schools.  Now people in Sunderland were actually paying to watch their side.

Quinny was keen to show he was one of the people by standing shoulder to shoulder with the shite

However Keane & Quinn discovered that signing proven premiership players was no easy feat. Big Birds frustrations were evident when he lambasted Portsmouth & West Ham for paying over inflated prices for players & then shelled out £5milliom for Michael Chopra. I mean £5 mill for fucking Chopra.. Yet another Toon cast off not fit enough to wear the sacred Black & White who lowers himself to playing for the shite. (I tell you what; you can fuck off if you think I am buying oot from Chopra News again!).

While the £5 million acquisition of Kieran Richardson was hardly inspiring he does bring mild Premiership experience.  However the bank was finally broken this week when £ 9 million was paid to Hearts for jock keeper Craig Gordon.  Whether he’s the business is open to conjecture but his capture highlights a bizarre disparity in blunderlands transfer dealings. While they were prepared to secure a top keepers signature at almost any price they baulked at meeting Preston’s valuation for striker Nugent  & shirked away from launching bids for Bellemy or Defoe.

Does this mean the mackems will be making a quick return to the Championship???  Well right from top to bottom Sunderland lack experience of Premiership football.  While last seasons remarkable transformation will not doubt stand them in good stead a bad start will evoke painful memories of the past two premiership campaigns. That said Keane’s post match press conference at Hillsborough where he lambasted his own players who had just won 4-2 was reminiscent of one of his former managers, ‘old big head’ himself, Brian Clough.  Cloughie was a master in extracting top quality performances’ from below average players & if Keane himself can muster one tenth of that magic then they should stay clear of the bottom three.

Toondog

Intro to Northeast blog by started by Ross Allen. 

It’s been a sh** summer here in Newcastle …… Primarily because the long drawn out close season hasn’t been buoyed by a World Cup or European Championship but also because the months of June & July mean The Toon becomes infested by Stag & Hen Parties…

The frightful sight of pink limousines filled with mephs kitted out in bunny ears & devil horns is enough to pi** off even the most tolerant of Geordies.. Not forgetting the irritation of battling your way to the bar past a load of knobs from Derby with ‘Brian’s Black Country Legends t-shirts on’.  Newcastle’s metamorphous from ‘city of industry’ to ‘European Party Capital’ is not with out its downside. So a word to the wise to any readers thinking of arranging a ‘lads’ weekend to the Toon. Go to Dublin instead & fu** the Irish off.

For a region that produced players of the calibre of Jackie Milburn, The Charlton Brothers, Paul Gascoigne, Chris Waddle, Peter Beardsley & Alan Shearer & managers such as Bob Paisley, Brian Clough & Sir Bobby Robson, in terms of trophies the region has had little or nothing to shout about.

Barring that spawny mackem victory in the FA Cup in the seventies & the Smog monsters victory in the League Cup in 2004 no North Eastern Team has tasted success in a major competition for the past fifty years, leading to the Toon Army having to endure mocking chants from lesser teams fans who fail to understand (being fair-weather bas****s) their undying loyalty to the cause.

Is this all about to change???  The honest answer is unlikely. However there is cause for renewed optimism for fans of both Newcastle & Sunderland, the former having made sweeping changes at boardroom, managerial & playing level.  Big Sam’s signing’s have undoubtedly improved the quality of the squad but whether Newcastle can cope in terms of quantity remains to be seem.  
 
Those unlucky blighters on wearyside can also look forward to the new season. The incredible achievements of Quinn & Keane in resurrecting the worst team in the premier league twice to their current status cannot be underplayed. Whether the lack of experience at the highest level from board right through to playing level will count against them remains to be seen.

Down at Teesside there is less cause for hope… Mainly because there is little hope when Stockton is your home address but also because the cavalier days of big players & big transfer fees seem to be over.  The loss of Viduka (ha ha ha) & possible loss of Yakubu mean Yorkshire might lose its last Premier League club!!!!

In the lower leagues the monkey hangers can look forward to trips to the City Ground & Elland Road & can the Quakers finally achieve promotion & give that wonderful stadium a team worthy of it.

What we lack in Champions League football & realistic League success we will make up with passion & drama. 

So stay to join me Toon Dog, Fat mackem bast*** & Darlo Dave as we keep you abreast of all the action from another tumultuous season in the North East.

Toon Dog

Ross Allen - Our Friends In The North