You know it never has been easy

Whether you do or not resign

Whether you travel the breadth of extremities

Or stick to some straighter line

- Joni Mitchell, ‘Hejira’.

It has been an utterly spellbinding 12 months for us Stoke City supporters, culminating with a so-far-so-good return to top-flight football; the place we feel this club belongs.

Flabbergasted, as many seem by the start we’ve made, us Stokies were surreptitiously confident of an upset, and we’ve certainly done that. Nevertheless, as is the tradition with these things, I have compiled a list of all the things I would like this Christmas, not just for my own insatiable purposes, but also for the good of Stoke City FC; things, which I feel, will drastically move the club forward in 2009.

Please forgive me; I know it’s been a while…

 

(10 = least important & least achievable; 1 = want most & most achievable)

10. A Box-to-Box midfielder playing for Stoke City.

These have suddenly become scarcer in football than tracksuit managers and to buy a decent one would cost more in weekly wages than Bryan Robson earned in his entire career.

My short-term suggestion would be to deploy Liam Lawrence in there this season, if he ever recovers from his acrimonious injury. With his infectious energy, gamut of passing, and thunderbolt long range shooting, Stoke City would surely stand to profit.

 

9. Wingers (not whingers!) to compliment our team.

With the call for wingers increasingly incessant, I come heeding waves of caution: introducing wingers can have disastrous consequences. Wingers with the wrong attitude will a) upset the balance of the team, and b) destroy the ambiance. Simply buying Pennant (though he’s not likely to sign) and or Joe Ledley will not necessarily solve all Stoke’s attacking shortcomings. Look how difficult it has proved for seasoned teams (such as Liverpool, Newcastle, Ipswich and Everton) to implement wingers into a well-drilled unit. Permeable wingers are few and far between. On the other hand, look how well it’s working out for O’Neil’s Villa side.

I am certainly from a school of belief ‘that wingers win you matches’ but these wingers are special players who will also track back and constantly search for the ball. The right system and tactics furthermore have to be instilled if they are to be used effectively and not detriment everything we have worked so hard for. It’s a common misconception that wingers of yesteryear looked on tactics & defending the same way LSD looks on a clock face with disdain. Ask anyone who watched sinuous archetypes such as Matthews, Best and Barnes at their majestic peaks; they’ll tell you they didn’t just stand about waiting to receive a pass, when they didn’t have the ball, they went looking for it.

 

8. Innovative football at the Britannia.

Despite being 90% behind the way Stoke are going about their inaugural season in the Premier League, I can’t help but look at Hull City fans with a modicum of envy. At times this season it’s felt like being invited around to Nigella Lawson’s gaff for a dinner party and told you are not allowed to eat any of her food; as you are forced to endure her irritatingly faultless brevity, and find out the only reason you’ve been invited is to wash the dishes.

I’m a realist and know this season will be all about damage limitation, making sure we give little away; scrapping and fighting to within an inch of our lives, until we narrowly avoid the drop. But in games like the 5-0 thrashing at Old Trafford, the first half against Newcastle, and most recently at Blackburn, you can’t help thinking Pulis’ favoured 2 banks of 4 isn’t just living dangerously, it is like standing on a chair with a noose around our necks, beseeching teams to kick the chair out from beneath us.

Next season Stoke City supporters will demand a little more variation to our football and expect to add some much needed attacking guile to our ranks; as quite frankly, the tiresome ugly football jibes, and getting played last every week on Mach of the Day, is beginning to get right up my nostrils.

 

*7. Morrissey Tickets

A set of Morrissey tickets for his gig in Galway, Ireland, where he’ll be playing in the spring. It’s taking place about 20 seconds away from where I currently reside and I’d be damned if I were to miss it. Ok it’s not football but Mozza is equally vital to me.

 

6. Players to take a wage cuts

The biggest stumbling block for a club like Stoke City is being unable to afford prospective signing’s wages. It was the case with players like Scott Carson in the summer and it will, I am sure, become an issue again, imminently, no doubt. Considering the current austerity crippling the world, will players’ wage demands stay the same or will players prove once and for all they are not the mercenaries sceptics have them down as? If this was to be the case, then maybe, just maybe Stoke City could afford to sign some top quality footballers.

 

5. Nicola Zigic (i.e. a proven goal scorer)

We all love a bit of transfer speculation but Zigic’s recurring link to Stoke nevertheless has to be one of the longest running sagas in the history of the football club. He’s the tallest player in world football, a target man, and with a goal scoring record that Stein, Sheron and even the great John Richie would be proud of; he is a Stoke City player if ever there was one. Sign him up Pulis and we can all get some sleep in 2009.

 

4. A good run in the FA Cup (i.e. a possible trip to New Wembley)

It’s tempting to draw parallels with this season and them of the ‘Waddo Years’. Stoke back amongst the big boys, memorable spats with Arsenal; a team comprised of strays and cast-offs. Similarly, I had hoped we would reach an FA Cup semi and possibly go onto win the League Cup (which I saw as wide open), and it would prove to be the catalyst for an auspicious and unlikely assault on the league title in seasons to follow; just as it did back in 72 (the year Stoke won the League Cup).

As it transpired, that defeat at home to Derby County did less for galvanising this team’s confidence than Kerry McFadden’s slurred appearance on ‘This Morning’ did for her career and dispelling growing concerns about her fragile state of mind. A good run in the FA Cup could thus prove invaluable.   

 

3. Adopt a winning mentality

It may seem to many I’ve fallen victim to the self-help books with this one, or listened to one too many Benitez interviews; however, my inspiration comes from a far less likely source. Listening to Ronnie O’Sullivan’s captivating and entertaining interview on ‘Inside Sport’ the other week, talking about his own riotous and precocious genius, got me thinking about what it takes to be a winner. He mentioned that when it’s going well for him he felt unbeatable. Pockets looked enormous, balls glided lightly over the cloth, and every part of the table; from the opponents balls (snooker!), the cushions and even the knuckles of the pockets, he used to his advantage, allying him past the winning post.

Firstly, Stoke need to believe they can win games, then, once we stop provoking the opposition by adopting self-deprecating tactics, we might then start to use everything in our armoury needed to succeed at this level.

 

2. Creativity

Yes, Stoke being lambasted in the media for their long ball tactics is becoming more irksome than those extremely irritating people who go up an octave at the end of every sentence (you know who you are). Of course, what Stoke lack is about as conspicuous as those ticket-dodging fans watching on from their grassy knoll vantage at the Britannia, but it appears the only way to put a stop to the barrage of stick the media seems to inveigh against us, is to play some creative football.

I realise this cannot happen over night but playing Glenn Whelan (who retains possession judiciously) in place of one of our water-carriers and deploying Lawrence in a more central midfield role would certainly be an intrepid step in the right direction, until we can sign a few more creative players. But it’s not just players Stoke need, I feel it’s a new formation.

 

1. A change of tactics and formation

Stoke’s opponents in the 1972 League Cup final were the mavericks of Chelsea. The Chelsea of that time were pioneers of innovation; a team which acted on impulse and intuition, showing scant regard for rigid inhibited tactics. However, this outrageously ambitious brand of football was carefully infused with the disciplined mantra of first Docherty, then Sexton; and their stylish 4-1-5 formation became zeitgeist of that era.

It is Mourinho’s Chelsea nevertheless; whose team best executed the slightly more paranoid 4-1-2-3 formation (Makélélé anchoring; Duff, Cole & Robben behind Drogba), who I feel Stoke City and Tony Pulis have to emulate.

Glenn Whelan and Lawrence could run things from midfield with the added security of Diao (or a pick from any of the like) in behind. Fuller could get more of the ball and put his pace and trickery to more devastating effect, whilst Tongue would offer some much needed width on the left and tuck in when his team mates are coming under the cosh.

Have a great Christmas everyone and fingers crossed everything works out in the New Year. If you have any Christmas wishes yourselves, for Stoke City or any other club, please enlighten us all by adding a comment below.

 

* If my suspicions are correct, I think my wonderfully thoughtful girlfriend has already purchased tickets to see Morrissey (1 down, 9 to go!).